Stone Heavy
by lillinfields
Summary: So originally this was supposed to be a song fic kind of thing memorializing Gibbs and Tony with “You Can Let Go Now Daddy” as the primary influence. But here’s what came from my angst session. AU via Hiatus Part 1 & 2…what could’ve been.


You can let go now

Title: Stone Heavy

Author: LilJei

Fandom: NCIS & CSI Miami

Characters: Tony & "I couldn't decide which hot Miami man he deserved"

Rating: PG

Summary: So originally this was supposed to be a song fic kind of thing memorializing Gibbs and Tony with "You Can Let Go Now Daddy" as the primary influence. But here's what came from my angst session. AU via Hiatus Part 1 & 2…what could've been.  
Disclaimer: Not My Shows or Characters!

Tony pushes himself forward, today was no day for rambling. He simply didn't have the time. Pushing about the grassy path with his cane he finally takes a breather as he comes upon the cross. It had been not so long ago that he was standing here for the first time, well give or take 20 years.

He'd promised the man that he'd live. That he'd live a full and blessed life away from the job and damn it if Tony hadn't taken that advice and run with it. He had always been looking for an excuse to be happy, to have a reason to move on from the job that had taken his health, the life of his loved ones, and finally the life of his surrogate father. The explosion that had severely injured Tony and the others had left Gibbs barely hanging on. It was ultimately Tony and Ducky's decision to pull the plug. Gibbs had looked at them both and begged with just his eyes and hoarsely spoke to the two men saying briefly "Let me go, Shannon and Kelly are waiting. I can even see Kate there."

Tony remembers breaking down right there and then. He was as far as he'd known the only one to have been told by Gibbs about his first and only beloved wife and child. He had known at that point, how important this moment was in his life. He was losing the only man that had ever loved him as a son but the man himself would be gaining everything, he'd would be coming into a world filled with peace. After that Gibbs had faded in and out barely getting Tony to promise him he'd live and love fully before joining him and Kate.

Tony had done it, just to stop Gibbs from straining himself further. It was just as Gibbs was telling Ducky that he loved them all that he'd flat-lined. That handy dandy Do not resuscitate order had come into play, the nurses could do nothing as Tony and Ducky sat by Gibbs's bedside listening to the final beats of the useless machines and watched his life fade away from them.

The others had justly been devastated. Ducky had kept a compassionate hand on Tony's shoulder as he broke the news. He could hear Abby's cries, Tim's gasping breath, and he could practically see Jenny and Ziva taking a strong stance upon their own grief. It had been a tough 6 months afterwards. Hell, it was probably just as tough or more so than when they'd lost Kate to Ari's sniper bullet. Ducky had become a good friend in those days, someone he had to lean on as he slowly watched his family fall apart. He'd taken over the reins of NCIS's number one team for the next five years.

Despite his promise to Gibbs's Tony had balked a little. It wasn't until they'd lost Jenny to cancer and then Ducky to an aneurysm that things had changed for him. Not all things over those first few years had been bad, Ziva had fallen in love with some government accountant named Roy and Tim and Abby finally tied the knot. Naming their firstborn Michael Leroy was a bonus. But it had been at the hospital that a random check-up had changed things for Tony. Barely six years after Gibbs had died and here he was being told he was no longer physically able to carry on his NCIS duties. Not only did he have a bum knee and a leg that had gotten worse after the explosion, his lungs were giving out on him, due to the horrible climate of DC.

He'd left NCIS that month with a few references and some vague ideas on where he would end up. Leaving his first real family had been hard but they knew his health and dreams of happiness were outweighing their need of him. He'd ended up in Miami of all places working as a cop once more. This time he'd hooked up with the PD due to his excellent language skills and his ability to be a cop and CSI all at the same time. He'd known Tim Speedle and Horatio Caine from the good ole' days in New York and when Tim had read his angsty email the man had practically kidnapped him from DC, demanding he move down there and join the numero uno team. And join it he did, for over a decade he'd spent roaming the beaches of downtown Miami investigating crimes and making enemies. He'd also made friends and another family and this one was just as important to him as the one he'd left in DC.

He still had those doubts on what his happiness would mean to Gibbs. Would he be upset at whose arms he'd found love in and all that. He had never made it a secret between the two of them that he was bisexual and when he'd left DC he'd somehow known that to be happy he'd have to be honest with himself and others as well. 20 years to the day and as Tony stared down at the cross that bared his adopted father's name he couldn't do anything but smile and softly speak to the worn stone. This was his favorite part of the holidays he spent with the McGees and Ziva's family. Coming here and baring his soul was still the only way he'd managed to stay sane through the years. Through the good and the bad Gibbs had been there for him and it was only right that on memorial day Tony spent the day with the only father he had ever truly loved.


End file.
